Anyone who knows me, knows that at any given time, I'm generally watching some sitcom from the 80s, 90s or at latest, the early 2000s. While I was watching a familiar tv show today, I thought about how young one of the actors looked in this episode. I recalled seeing him recently in a reunion show and was shocked by how much he has aged. Part of the shock came from the fact that I watch reruns so much. I see so little of him in real life, that I have a hard time seeing him in his current state. That's the problem with watching a show that was taped 17-20 years ago, a show that is no longer even on the air.

Then it hit me. How many things in our lives are over but we still keep watching the "re-runs?" How many times do we rehearse the past and miss the present because we are tuned into last season. We can recite the lines and reenact the roles even though the series was cancelled. There are new episodes, new seasons and new opportunities available but we stay tuned into things that happened 5, 10, 15 years ago. Then, as we get a glimpse of the present, it looks so unfamiliar because we've been watching the reruns.

There are plenty of comforting things about watching re-runs: the familiarity, the predictability, the simplicity, even.  A few months back, there were so many things happening in the real world that I just wanted to avoid. Hulu had just launched the return of TGIF shows and I was so excited to have an escape route.  I even posted, “if you are looking for me, I’ll be back in the 90s.”  I’m sure I spent that whole weekend watching Family Matters and Boy Meets World. While I was comforted and soothed, nothing about my reality was changed or different.  My avoiding the current events did not make them go away. People were still mistreating and threatening the safety of others. People who were once cherished were being outted for their true colors. The world was still happening despite how much I wanted to focus on Steve Urkel’s affection for Laura or Corey and Topanga’s first date.  That’s just the thing, staying in a familiar place does not change your reality; it just delays the inevitable and maybe causes things to get worse because you aren’t tending to the things that matter.

You have a choice: keep living in the past or live life in real time, prime time! It’s a new season with new adventures to be lived and new roles to play out.  Even though people may enjoy the cycles you have been in, do you? I read that one of the reasons Family Matters ended was because the actor who played the main character was tired of being Steve Urkel. He knew that he was maturing and the role did not fit him anymore. Much to our chagrin, the show ended and he went on to do other things that allowed him personal fulfillment.  There may be people who enjoy you in your past and they are the only ones who benefit from that role.  You have to know when you have outgrown this character and allow yourself the freedom to be the version of you that pleases you.  Don’t allow people to typecast you because that was their favorite version of you.  You are more versatile and creative than that and the world needs the NOW you.

So today, I encourage you to decide to change the channel, pick a different show and see what's on primetime! Life is happening all around you. Don't miss it.

Have you ever asked someone “how do I look?” Depending on the answer, we make a decision about what we have on or how we are wearing our outfit. In this age of anything goes fashion, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  Have you ever considered the beholder when asking those questions?  On one hand, the information they offer us could be in our best interest or, their own challenges, issues and misperceptions, veiled in their opinions, may sway us in a direction that we didn’t need to go. The problem with asking another person “how do I look” incorporates “how they see.” But what if they have a vision problem! If they have a low self-image, that will impact how they see you. If their parents shamed them, it will affect what they see when they see you because their filter is themselves. I have seen countless times how people make generalizations based on their personal beliefs or challenges.  One of my sisters used to believe that she could not wear ponytails because her forehead was too big.  She was teased as a child and thus adapted all of her hairstyles to fit this belief and insisted that she must never display her forehead.  After several conversations and convincing her that her forehead was not as big as she thought it was and that it was in fact  normal, she became free enough to change up her style and even got her baby hair game on point! LOL.  Just as in this example, consider how much have we allowed the input of others to dictate our lives based on what they thought or saw when they looked at us.

Usually when someone asks me how she looks or if I like what she is about to purchase, I say, “do YOU like it?” The reason for this redirection is because my opinion should pale in comparison to what she likes. I often say, “It’s your money” or “I don’t have to wear it!” You need to remember that you are the beholder and what you see as beautiful is all that really matters.  While we may value certain people’s opinion, there is a danger in esteeming their opinion or view higher than yours.  Are you sacrificing your wants and wishes to make someone else feel valued?  Are you relinquishing your creativity and individuality to keep someone else comfortable? Instead of asking “how you look” take some time to evaluate “how you see.” If I think I am less than, nothing I put on will look right on me. No amount of makeup will make me feel pretty. If I remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that I’m great, even in my sweats with my hair in a ponytail! I read a quote the other day that said, “stop asking blind people to proofread your vision!”  Too often we allow those who are impaired in their sight to impact our vision (perception and perspective). Today, our prayer for you is that you will have a spiritual eye exam and the Father will correct your vision to see what He sees and free you from the perceptions of others!

I have a few questions for you.  Who are you? Who were you? Who will you be?  Evolving is such an interesting and messy and wonderful and difficult and natural process.  Too often we do not allow ourselves the freedom to change and become. We hold ourselves hostage to being how we have always been, even if we don’t like it.  Equally as detrimental, we let other people hold us to what they knew of and expect of us.  Just because that’s who I was before, doesn’t mean that I have to stay that way forever. 

When I was a kid, I hated onions.  I do not really know why; but I did. I think I just always told myself that I did not like them. As a result, I told people to hold the onions, or just picked them out without even trying it.   One day, a friend convinced me to try a meal the way it came and it had red onions on it.  I actually enjoyed it. I couldn’t believe it!  It took me almost 32 years to try the onions and realize that I have been missing out for a really long time.  A few years later, I reconnected with someone that I hadn’t seen in years and when we were talking about food, the person said, “that’s right, you don’t like onions.”  I said, “Interestingly, enough I do” and I continued speaking of my new found enjoyment of onions.  I no longer ask the waiter to hold the onions; I just make sure I have some breath mints in my purse.

So what’s the point?  What I disliked thirty years ago changed with new experiences, and I allowed myself the freedom to try something new.  More than just my culinary preferences, I have also tried many new things and have become someone new.  Now the process of change is more than just onions. It involves many other things.  It comes with trial and error as well as trial and success. You can change your mind.  You can change your preferences.  You can maintain what you have always liked. You can walk away.  There may have been a time in your life when you may have needed something or someone.  It’s ok that you don’t anymore.  You don’t have to stay in a situation because that’s what it used to be.  I heard that “loyalty, like milk, has an expiration date.”  You know what can happen if you drink expired milk.  Depending on how old it is, you can get extremely sick.  Staying in something past the expiration date can also have adverse effects on your health: emotionally and physically.

I just want to remind you that it’s ok to change. Keep going and keep growing.  Being told you are changing is not an insult, even if the person is trying to be hurtful when they say it.  Do what’s best for you.  If the “milk” is expired, throw it out.  If you like the onions now, eat them without apology.  Keep becoming your best self! You’ll thank yourself later. 

These are very familiar words to anyone who has been on the set of a movie.  The director is cuing the technicians to prepare all of the necessary equipment needed to capture the performance. While the cue is to the production crew, it also announces to the actors and actresses that the time to perform is almost here.  They take their final moment to get in character and prepare to dazzle the audience with their talent and ability.  All of the hard work they have done to learn the script, build chemistry with their co-actors, embody the characters they are portraying all comes alive in those moments.  At the sound of the word “action,” the moment begins and the preparation time is over.  It’s time to perform.  There is no time to learn the script now; that was the purpose of rehearsal.  They either have it or they don’t. 

Everyone who steps on stage or in front of the camera knows that there is an audience who will be watching, critiquing and enjoying their performance.  I’ve done some career counseling in my life and I know that you probably cannot be in the entertainment industry and be afraid of the audience. If you are, there may be a job that is better suited for you then acting or performing.  I am not saying that even the best do not get nervous or even mess up. If you have ever watched any blooper show, you know that even some of the best and most skilled in the craft mess up and forget their lines. Yet their passion for the stage keeps them going even after their error. While the performer may be frustrated with the fact they messed up, the director yells, “cut” and they simply begin again. If nothing more, the mess-up, at least makes for great comic relief.

In life, we will have our moments in the spotlight.  The question is what have you done off-set to prepare for these moments? Maybe you won’t ever be on the set of a major motion picture, but you have an audience. There was a famous TV show in the fifties called This Is Your Life.  The host would surprise guests and then take them through a retrospective recap of their lives in front of an audience, including appearances by colleagues, friends, and family.  While you may not be the star of one of those shows, I just want to remind you that THIS IS YOUR LIFE! There may not be a production crew following you around like on the reality shows of today but you definitely are on the stage. There may be moments that you wish were edited out or that you could go back and do another take on.  You may wish there were things that people did not see happening; you can’t get rid of those times. Yet that’s the stuff that makes your movie great. If nothing more, just chalk it up as material for the blooper real.

 I want to invite you to show up today. Show up in character! Show up in brilliance! The lights are on and the camera is rolling.  It is time to take action.  People are watching and are waiting for you to take your place. One of my favorite sayings in my life has been, “if you have an audience, perform!”  Just like in Hollywood, everyone who watches a show is not a fan.  Some people go to the movie just to critique it.  You will have fans and critics alike. Give them the performance of a lifetime.  Even though they may not be rooting for you, they will have to respect you.  Life is waiting for you to step on stage and shine.